Darth Revan's Flying Circus
by Swordyiel
Summary: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic "Monty Python style".
1. Default Chapter

Darth Revan's Flying Circus  
"Part 1"  
  
(Boba Fett is seen, flying through the air with his jet pack, waving all around. Suddenly, he's blown to pieces by blaster fire. Scan down, a Sith trooper is sitting at the controls of a blaster cannon, giving thumbs up.)  
  
Sith trooper: And now for something completely different!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Now in the droid shop on Taris. Revan comes in, dragging the defective T3- H8 droid in with her.)  
  
Revan: Janice, this T3 droid you sold me is defective.  
  
Janice Nall: Looks ok to me.  
  
Revan: Ok?! It's dead, gone, destroyed, obliterated!  
  
Janice Nall: No, just needs new batteries.  
  
Revan: I'm telling you, this droid is no more. Why, it burst into flames as I left the shop!!  
  
Janice Nall: H'okay, okay. How about this one? State of the art, top of the line even.  
  
Revan: That's not a droid, that's a rakgoul!!  
  
Janice Nall: Thinks he's a droid though. Just as good.  
  
Revan: Look, all I want is a good, decant, working droid. Is that so much to ask for?!  
  
Janice Nall: H'okay h'okay. Pick any droid you want. All them good, 'cept that one in the corner over there.  
  
Revan: Why? What's wrong with that one?  
  
Janice Nall: Thinks it's a Hutt. Tried to sell me into slavery on the exchange just last year.  
  
Revan: That'd deal with that bratty Jedi Bastila. I'LL TAKE IT!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Fade to black. Showing scene at the bridge of the Ebon Hawk)  
  
Carth: Oh my god! The Sith are attacking!  
  
Bastila: REVAN!! Get your butt down to the blaster cannons!  
  
::Blaster fire is heard. Seconds later, Revan steps onto the bridge, yet the blaster fire is still continuing::  
  
Revan: Can't a person use the john without the Sith attacking the ship?  
  
Carth: Revan? But if you're here...  
  
Bastila: WHO'S FIRING THE CANNONS?!  
  
(Fade to scene at the cannon bubble. HK-47 is there, firing away at the Sith)  
  
HK-47: HK's log, 27/102. Sith have attacked. Now is my chance to get in on the action. Earlier today, had filled Revan's Diet Dr. Pib with milk of magnesia for weak bladder. Waited for chance, then hopped into the firing seat.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Fade to black again. This time, scene is on the Star Forge)  
  
Malak: Ahh, Revan. I had been expecting yo-zzzzzzk!!!  
  
(Malak's metal jaw and the little force box at his throat suddenly explode at the mere gesture of Revan's hand)  
  
Revan: Blah blah blah. Stupid meatbag. HK, your turn  
  
(Suddenly, HK-47 apears behind Malak, and without warning, freezes him in carbonite)  
  
HK-47: Target neutralized, master.  
  
Revan: Good job. Now back to the ship.  
  
(Scene fades to Mana'an, where Revan and Hk-47 are at the endge of the city, HK holding the carbonite statue of Malak)  
  
Revan: Ok, HK, unfreeze 'em.  
  
(So it is done. Malak is unfrozen down to his waist. Everything below, however, is kept as it was)  
  
Revan: Malak. I speak on behalf of Master Vrook when I say this; You have dishonored the Jedi order and yourself. You have killed millions upon millions in your lust for power and glory. You should have known your place. I'm sorry I failed you...well, no, not really. Anyway, for these many  
things, you are sentenced to an old Earth mafia death, ie, dumped into water and left to drown. Fare thee well. HK, drop him.  
  
(And with that, HK drops Malak over the side, into the deep, deep Mana'an ocean. Revan pulls a newspaper out from under a sleeve. A Selketh's head is sticking out of it. And then, Revan drops it in, and walks away)  
  
Revan: Well, that was enjoyable. Let's all go out for Gizka burgers tonight.  
  
To Be Continued.. 


	2. Darth Revan's Flying Circus: Chapter 2

Darth Revan's Flying Circus  
"Part 2"  
  
(Revan, Carth, and Bastila are walking down the long path outside the Leviathon in the spacesuits)  
  
Bastila: Remember Carth, anger is evil. Revenge is evil. In fact, if you just kill Saul for any other reason than you had no AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!  
  
(Suddenly, a small piece of debris flew by, taking Bastila with it)  
  
Revan: Oh great, now whatta we do?  
  
Carth: I got some Pazaak cards..  
  
Revan: ALRIGHT!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Meanwhile, fade to bridge of Leviathon)  
  
Saul: Hmm, does my butt look fat?  
  
(Debris with Bastila flies past window)  
  
Sith Officer: Sir, I think a Jedi just flew by us.  
  
Saul: How can you tell that's a Jedi? Inside a suit, it could be anyone.  
  
Sith Officer: The suit had breasts. There aint a female Sith aboard the ship.  
  
Saul: Yes...blast that Malak and his punishments.. just because he's gay doesn't mean I am.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Next scene, Canderous is leading the party towards the Ebon Hawk)  
  
Sith Soldier: AHHHH!!! WOOKIE SWINGING A TWI'LEK!!! Run!!!  
  
(What is shown is Zalbaar using Mission like a two-handed flail, swinging her around by the tentacles, smacking the Sith across the rooms)  
  
Juhani: Just what the hell are those two doing?!?  
  
Jolee: Err....either he's using her as a weapon...or that's some bizarre Wookie mating dance ritual. I pray it's not the latter.  
  
Canderous: Too many soldiers!! Zalbaar...stop swinging her around! OWWW! You're hitting us more than you are th-OW!  
  
Jolee: I've got an idea, EVERYONE, cover your noses. T3, mane a slight fire with your flamethrower.  
  
Juhani: Oh my...Mission: He isn't doing what I think he's doing, is he?  
  
(Pulling from his pockets some brown stuff, then lighting them from the flamethrower, Jolee then throws them at each of the Sith. Seconds later, they errupt in fire and explode)  
  
Canderous: Good job Jolee! Using lit bantha fodder was a smart strategy.  
  
Jolee: Bantha fodder? Oh...yes, right, bantha fodder.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Back to Carth and Revan, whoe are looking at Revan's watch)  
  
Revan:: It's been almost two hours.  
  
Carth: Guess we better just continue without her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Later, after Saul is dead, Carth is frozen, and Revan is fighting Malak)  
  
Malak: Joining with the Lightside? BAH! The Darkside is stronger. And you know why?  
  
Revan: At the risk of making this game far too short, and pissing off the players by killing you here, why?  
  
Malak: Because good men are dumb. And you? You let Griff live!!  
  
Revan: Well...yea. I regret that...  
  
Malak: Anyways...TIME TO DIE!!  
  
(Malak freezes Revan in place, preparing to strike her:)  
  
Malak: I'LL FINALLY KILL YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL!  
  
(Suddenly, Bastila and said debris come crashing through the walls, slamming into Malak and carrying him off with them. And Carth rushes in.)  
  
Carth: What the hell happened?!  
  
Revan: Er.....I killed Revan....yea, that's it. I used "Force Explode" on him. Blew the little tosser to pieces. Damn near killed me. Pity Bastila'll never know.  
  
Carth: Well, let's get out of here then.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Later, after escaping the Leviathon, and now aboard the Ebon Hawk)  
  
Juhani: So Bastila's gone? And Malak's dead?... Shouldn't we celebrate?  
  
Carth: No, first things first. You all need to know what I learned from Saul. Our friend here is actually-  
  
Mission: A man?  
  
Jolee: A woman?  
  
Carth: NO YOU IDIOTS. Our friend is Darth Revan!  
  
Canderous: So?....  
  
HK-47: Zzzzzzzk.......KKKKzzzzzz...Sshkkk...  
  
Mission: What's wrong with HK?  
  
HK-47: Wait a moment....yes. Yes. I see. All memory is restored. I now remember my first master.  
  
Revan: Well who was it then?  
  
HK-47: One moment. His name was...Anakin Skywalker.  
  
Director: CUTTT!!! Ok, whose idea was this?!  
  
(Lights begin flashing, old Star Wars music plays. A red carpet comes out of nowhere. A pudgy man with glasses walks down on it)  
  
George Lucas: Oh, that was mine.  
  
Director: What?! Why in the hell would you do that?! Anakin wasn't even born yet. I mean, it makes no sense.  
  
George Lucas: Doesn't matter. I made the movies, I control the franchize.  
  
Director: Screw this, I quit.  
  
Carth/Revan/HK/T3/Zalbaar: Yea, we quit too.  
  
George Lucas: Fine, I can replace you. I CAN REPLACE YOU ALL!!!! STUNT  
DOUBLES!!  
  
(In walks Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, C3-PO, R2-D2, and Chewey)  
  
George Lucas: Ok, places...ACTION!  
  
Everyone: Anakin Skywalker?! GASP!  
  
(Suddenly, the debris carrying Bastila and Malak comes crashing through the spaceship, dropping off Bastila as it continues on it's merry way. Bastila takes a moment to look around, noticing all the new people)  
  
Bastila: WHAT THE $^#%&$%@& IS GOING ON HERE?!  
  
George Lucas: CUT! That's a rap, people.  
  
To Be Continued.. 


	3. Darth Revan's Flying Circus: Chapter 3

Darth Revan's Flying Circus  
"Part 3"  
  
(The place, the Ebon Hawk. Canderous, Mission, and T3 are working furiously on HK)  
  
Canderous: Wrench!  
  
Mission: Don't got a wrench.  
  
Canderous: Screwdriver then!  
  
Mission: Don't got a screwdriver either.  
  
Canderous: A hammer?  
  
Mission: Nope.  
  
Canderous: How about a drill?  
  
Mission: Hmm, may-no, no drill.  
  
Canderous: Oh fer god's sake...then just what the hell do we have?!  
  
Mission: Couple o' scalpels, a spork, tooth pick, some type of odd glowing rock...  
  
Canderous: THAT'S URANIUM YOU IDIOT!!  
  
Mission: Oh, no wonder my hands are burning. How 'bout a chipmunk?  
  
Canderous: Better than all the other crap, give it 'ere.  
  
(Mission hands him the chipmunk. Canderous goes to work on HK. Fade to black)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Carth: Ok Zalbaar, flip the switch.  
  
(Zalbaar does, lights flicker on and off)  
  
Carth: OK! That's four copies. Now we can make the weapons.  
  
Zalbaar: This seems slightly blasphemous, using the sword of Bacca like this.  
  
Carth: Nonsense, Zalbaar. As long as they're only copies, there's nothing wrong with it.  
  
(The two get to work, using duct tape and super glue on the sword of Bacca replicas)  
  
Zalbaar: Actually, these blades look pretty good, if not a little shabby.  
  
Carth: Pity this was the easy part. Now, we just need to work on you using them.  
  
Zalbaar: I still think using a two-blader in each hand is a stupid idea.  
  
Carth: Are you kidding?! Think of the damage they'd do. Now, let's start training..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Canderous sets the chipmunk down, which looks pretty stoned.)  
  
Canderous: That'll do pig, that'll do.  
  
Mission: Pig? What're you talking about?  
  
Canderous: Nothing. Private joke. Ok, let's reboot 'em.  
  
HK: Zzzzkk...Kzzzk...."Systems online. Systems check: Normal."  
  
Mission: Well? Is it working?  
  
HK: Affirmative, my assassination mode is now functional once again.  
  
Revan: God. Now, your new target is.....GRIFF!  
  
Mission: THE HELL!!?! Where did you come from?  
  
Revan: The shadows, but that's not important now.  
  
HK: Affirmative, master. This pleases me greatly. Many times have I longed to kill that irritating meatbag. If I may be so bold, master, may I make a suggestion on how to cause his demise in a most painful manner?  
  
Revan: I like the sound of that, continue.  
  
HK: Like my former Hutt master, I could dissemble his corpse into many miniature pieces, and put them in a stew.  
  
Canderous: I like the sound of that.  
  
Mission: Kill him!?? Stew!? I never agreed to this!! You said he'd be used against Bastila after she tried to sell me into slavery last time!  
  
Revan: AND IF YOU WANT TO STAY OUT OF SLAVERY, YOU'LL SHUT  
UP NOW!!  
  
Mission: Eeee....yes, ma'am..  
  
(Suddenly, a tentacle of Mission's goes flying through the air, spraying blood in its path)  
  
Mission: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Carth: Oopsie...  
  
Zalbaar: Sorry Mission, we were just practicing this new technique..  
  
(Mission runs back passed the group, blood dripping from where her tentacle should be,.of course, crying.)  
  
Canderous: Um...Revan...you've got something in your hair...  
  
(Revan pulls the bloody tentacle from her hair, tossing it to the ground.)  
  
Revan: Uck...  
  
(Jolee exits the bathroom, and slips on the tentacle.)  
  
Jolee: Blasted soybean–EAAAAIIII!!  
  
(Bastila comes running into the room, where the tentacle lands on her face, covering her eyes.)  
  
Bastila: What's going on in he-AIEEEEEEE!! I'm blind!! Something has me!!  
  
(She draws and ignites her lightsaber, swinging it around wildly)  
  
Canderous: DUCK!!!!  
  
(He dives onto Revan, getting them both out of harms way just as Bastila swings towards them. Zalbaar and Carth come running.)  
  
Carth: Alright, here's your chance Zalbaar, disarm Bastila and TAKE HER DOWN!  
  
Zalbaar: Let's do this!  
  
(Zalbaar begins swinging the two double-bladed swords of Bacca wildly. Unfortunately, he isn't hitting anything except air)  
  
Carth: Crap in a hat!  
  
(And Carth ducks for cover)  
  
Revan: Great, now what'll we do?  
  
(Suddenly, two blasts are fired. So quickly is the second one fired that it sounds like only one shot was fired. As the smoke clears, Bastila is on her knees, holding her hand, which has a smoking hole in it. Same for Zalbaar, only both his hands have holes in them. HK stands there, a smoking blaster rifle in his hands.)  
  
HK: Meatbags are such cowards.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Later.)  
  
Revan: Ok, Canderous, get a stapler and some duct tape for Mission's tentacle. HK, Carth, Juhani, get some Band- aids for Bastila and Zalbaar. And for godsake, HK, put that damn rifle down.  
  
(Meanwhile.)  
  
Jolee: Uh..guys?...Guys? I need some help here.. I've fallen, and I can't get up...  
  
To Be Continued.. 


	4. Darth Revan's Flying Circus: Chapter 4

Darth Revan's Flying Circus  
"Part 2"  
  
(Revan is seen wandering around the Ebon Hawk. No one else can be found, except Mission, who currently resides in the cargo bay.)  
  
Mission: Looking for something?  
  
Revan: Yea, Bastila had something she wanted to say to me, but now I can=t find her anywhere. Damndest thing, really.  
  
Mission: Maybe she went with everyone else to get tattoos.  
  
(Suddenly a ATHWUMP, then a ABWANG and finally a AKAPOING sound is heard.)  
  
Revan: What the Hell..?!  
  
Mission: What? The sound?  
  
Revan: Yea, sounded like it came from the hidden compartment.  
  
Mission: Er...I've got a Kath hound in there...yea, that=s it!! A Kath hound!  
  
Revan: What on Tatooine are you doing hiding a Kath hound in there? You know I'm allergic to the damn things!  
  
Mission: A pet?....  
  
Revan: NOT ANOTHER PET!! Especially after that whole mishap with the freakin' adult rancor. Dump it, NOW!  
  
Mission: But we're at a docking bay in space!!!  
  
Revan: So? Either it goes or you both go.  
  
Mission: Fine, fine.  
  
(Revan walks off. Meanwhile, Mission opens the compartment, revealing a struggling bound and gagged Bastila.)  
  
Mission: Heh heh heh. Well, Revan did say to dump you.  
  
Bastila: MMMMMPH!!! MMMPHEE!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Meanwhile, at the tattoo parlor.)  
  
Juhani: I just don't see how scarring my body makes me more attractive.  
  
Jolee: No, I said the ale does, not the tattoo. HIC!  
  
Juhani: I hate you, old man.  
  
Canderous: Say, has anyone seen Zalbaar lately?  
  
Jolee: HIC Said he was HIC said he was going to the food court.  
  
Juhani: I still don't understand how we can afford to do all this.  
  
Canderous: Well, Revan went and hired out T3 as a walking garbage can to the food court, and I heard Bastila brooding about renting Mission out as a slave again.  
  
All: BWHAHA HAHA HAHA!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(And at the food court, Zalbaar finally gets off line at the Kasshyk Fried Gizka place.)  
  
Zalbaar: We may make awful slaves, but we make a mean bucket o' gizka.  
  
T3: Bee boo boo bee bop boop!  
  
Zalbaar: There you are.  
  
(He throws the basket into the empty container on T3's head then heads over to the local DICKS weapons store.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Back at the tattoo parlor.)  
  
Juhani: OW OW OWWWWWWWW!!  
  
Artist: There, done.  
  
Canderous: Let's see what you got. B...E....L...A..Y...A....What the hell?!  
  
Juhani: Yes, my lover's name is Belaya.  
  
Canderous: What kinda man has the name Belaya?!?  
  
Juhani: Belaya is a woman.  
  
Jolee: Psst... Juhani's a lesbian, you idiot!  
  
Canderous: I thought she was a Cathar...  
  
Jolee: Ugh...It means she's gay you moronic goat of a man!!  
  
Canderous: .........Come again?  
  
Jolee: SHE....LIKES.....GIRLS!!!!  
  
Canderous: GIRLS!? Oh my god, Jolee, you mean she's a pedaphile?!  
  
Jolee: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Meanwhile, back on the ranch.)  
  
Revan: Bastila! BAAAAAAAAASSSSSTILLLAAA!!!! Yodleyodleheehoo!! Ollyollyoxenfree!!  
  
(On the other side of the ship, Mission is dragging Bastila by the hair towards the second air lock, the one that opens into space.)  
  
To Be Continued.. 


	5. Darth Revan's Flying Circus: Chapter 5

Darth Revan's Flying Circus  
"Part 5"  
  
Announcer: AND NOW!! Challenging our champion, the Unknown Stranger, is another newcomer to the Taris Dueling Arena. A droid of all things, made by our very own machine master Twi=lek.........HE IS.........T3!!!!!!  
  
(The crowd is cheering loudly as both duelists enter the arena. Revan is holding two lightsabres, each one showing off an eery violet glow. Silently, T3 rolls out.)  
  
Announcer: LET THE BEST...er...man? No, er....BEING WIN!!!  
  
Revan: This is too easy. YAAAAAAAR!!!  
  
*BLAM!!! BOOM!!!! PLOOP!! CLOP!!! PACHING!!*  
  
(Later, on the ship, Revan is in a full-body cast, laying on a bed. The rest of the Ebon Hawk=s group is watching a rerun of the fight on TV.)  
  
Jolee: Hey Revan, they say parts of your fight are too violent for TV!  
  
Revan: Mmph..mmm.. phmm....MMPH!!!  
*((Goddamn $&^#%%&@ DROID!))  
  
(T3 rolls up next to Revan.)  
  
T3: Beep beep beep meep ching beep ching.  
*((Shut up and eat your banana.))  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Darth Bandon: And now for something completely different!  
  
(A giant jawa steps on him. Fade to black.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Carth, Juhani, and Jolee are seen walking through the desert of Tantooine.)  
  
Juhani: How is it that the Ex-Dark Lord of the Sith got her ass handed to her so utterly and entirely by a sissy droid like T3?  
  
Carth: I think HK had been tinkering with him before the fight.  
  
Juhani: No, HK's been missing for a week now. Remember, Revan sent him after Griff.  
  
Carth: Ohhhhh, right.  
  
Jolee: T3 was still a little angry about being hired out as a garbage can.  
  
(While walking, they pass by Bandon, who is hung over a campfire, surrounded by a bunch of Jawas. Juhani seems to be the only one who notices it. Suddenly, they spring to action, diving on Bandon. After a minute, all that is left is a skeleton.)  
  
Juhani: ......I'll be seein= those things comin= at me in my sleep...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(On a foreign planet, HK is walking through the plains. Suddenly, a bottle hits his head. He bends over, and finds a note inside, and reads it.)  
  
Note: To whoever may be reading this. I, Lady Feastius, am in deep need of rescuing. I am at the large wooden castle by the creek. Thankyou.  
  
HK: Mayhap Griff is the culprit... I AM OFF!!  
  
(Later, HK arrives at the wooden castle, a large sign is outside, reading AWedding Today@, and there is a large line of guests at the door.)  
  
HK: HAVE AT THEE, MEATBAGS!!  
  
(And soon, blaster shots were fired off everywhere. Maids carrying drinks were blown away. Butlers carrying food, likewise, were blasted in the face repeatedly until they stopped twitching.)  
  
Servant Boy: Your hat si-ARRRRRGH!!  
  
(Even the guests and little children were murdered.)  
  
Little Girl: Shine yer shoes, govnaAAAAAAGH!!  
  
(Hell, even the band was not safe. Playing on the stage was Brittney Spears.)  
  
Spears: HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIMEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!  
  
*BLAM*  
  
HK: Gladly, miss.  
  
(HK, fighting his way up the castle, soon came to a room, someone crying behind it. He busted into the room, to find a large, fat bulbous piece of lard. Namely, a hut.)  
  
Feastius: My savior! He has come at last! Please, let us escape before anyone finds out you're here.  
  
HK: Er....who? They're all dead...  
  
Feastius: .....Never mind. Well, what is your name, my lovely and rather badly smelling savior?  
  
HK: The assassin droid known as HK-47, loyal only to Revan. Oops, I've said too much.  
  
*BLAM!!*  
  
Feastius: ....What the?...  
  
HK: A shot to the face? And not dead?!  
  
Feastius: That was my backside...  
  
HK: ....Er... Let me try that again..  
  
*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*  
  
Feastius: THAT WAS MY ARM!!!  
  
HK: .....Time to try something different...  
  
(He armed the flame thrower. Soon, the entire room was on fire, the entire castle being made of wood and all.)  
  
Feastius: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
HK: ...Wait...isn't fat a bit more flammable than tha...  
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*  
  
(The entire castle was no more. In fact, neither was most of the countryside. Just a large, large crater. HK, meanwhile, was flying through the air.)  
  
HK: ...Well, that went well. Now to find Griff...  
  
To Be Continued.. 


End file.
